From new mothers, I often hear comments like: “I can’t even have a shower because I don’t know how long she will sleep for.” Or: “It takes so long to get him to sleep that we start cooking dinner at 9 p.m.” If your baby hasn’t yet been born, these sorts of things may sound ridiculous. However, managing your day around a newborn can be a challenge, especially when you consider that even the calmest newborn will take at least nine hours of ‘hands-on’ care each day – and night!
Here are some quick tips to make things easier right now.
Checklist: Managing your day with a newborn
1) Include your baby in your daily tasks. For instance, don’t wait until she is asleep to have your shower. Instead, pop her in a rocker in the bathroom so that you can see each other. She will probably enjoy listening to the water running and the sound of your voice if you sing or chat while you shower. Or, you can shower or bath with your baby, you may need another adult to help with handing your baby to you, but if you can safely manage you can undress your baby and lie him on a towel (perhaps in a rocker) then undress yourself and reach and take him in with you. To get out of the bath or shower, place baby in his rocker wrapped in a warm towel while you dry yourself, pop on a dressing gown, then finish dressing your little one.
2) Multi task so you can rest when baby sleeps. If you feel physically strong enough (recovery, especially after a C/Section can take a few weeks before this is an option) try carrying your baby in a baby carrier or wrap, or take her with you in a pram or bassinet or lie your wee one on a rug on the floor and chat or sing as you prepare food, do chores, or hang out washing.
3) Get dressed early in the day – then you will feel at least slightly in control, even if things go pear-shaped later. And you’ll be ready to head out for a walk with your baby if you feel overwhelmed by ‘cabin fever’ or a grumpy baby .
4) Plan your day around your baby’s calm times. For example, if she tends to be more content or naps more soundly at a roughly similar time of day, pop her in a pram or carrier and go for a walk or perhaps schedule appointments or do shopping (online shopping and grocery deliveries are super convenient). Or prepare dinner early (make a slow cooker your new best friend) so that later, if (or when) she has her ‘arsenic hour’, you won’t feel so stressed.
5) Create a comfortable ‘headquarters’ for feeding and cuddling.
You will be sitting around an awful lot in the first few weeks, so consider checking out some good books or movies (‘Netflix and chill’ has a whole new meaning!). Set up a feeding basket with a thermos of tea (iced or warm) and healthy snacks (Try Boobie Bikkies, our natural and organic superfood cookies, especially created for breastfeeding mums) to keep you going as well as your book, phone (set up with earplugs and downloaded podcasts or an audiobook), water bottle, breast pads, hand cream and of course wipes, nappy and onesie in case of ‘poo-splosions’.
Then, if you feed your baby in different places (inside or outside), keep your basket handy; this will help you to view feeding time as a nurturing time for you, rather than feeling restless because you are ‘stuck’, focussing on your own hunger and thirst or, even worse, worrying about all the ‘to dos’ that are waiting.
(6) Cook in bulk. Cook double (or multiple) portions and freeze the extra meals so that if you have a rough day you can thaw a meal quickly – it’s less expensive and more nutritious than resorting to ‘takeaways’.
(7) It’s Ok to say, “no!” Guard Your Own Energy By Learning To Say ‘NO’ To Activities And People That Will Sap Your Energy. Consider, will I feel better if I do this? Or do I feel stressed/tired/overwhelmed by it? If an activity doesn’t make you feel better, don’t do it – you don’t have to take your 6 month old to swim class, and your 12 month old won’t miss out if he doesn’t attend music classes if it doesn’t float your own boat. If you find an activity that you enjoy, that feels nourishing for you, do that (it might be swimming or music). Or, if structured activities create pressure (you are not alone), simply ditch this pressure and go with the flow, however it works for you.
8) Be kind to yourself . On days when it feels as though you have absolutely nothing to show for your efforts because your baby has been on a feeding marathon or is extra clingy, imagine you have followed yourself around all day as though you are making a movie. That woman (you!) in the camera is doing an amazing job – you are not doing ‘nothing’, you are growing a whole tiny human! Give Yourself A Huge High Five For All That You Are And All That You Are Doing Right Now. You Are Enough. You have nothing to prove.
So please, be kind to yourself, look deeply into those navy blue eyes, breathe in that sweet baby smell and enjoy every delicious cuddle. Remember the mantra for when the going gets tough, “This too shall pass” – even if right now the hard days seem to be going really bloody slowly.
