I stopped listening to the advice of many well-meaning people!!!!!!
Instead - I got Pinky's "Sleeping Like a Baby" and it's seriously been like a breath of fresh air. I feel so much calmer and nowhere near as tired. I feel somehow that I have been given "permission" (crazy I know) to do what in my heart I always felt was right. My baby now gets many, many more cuddles, as much eye contact as he likes, we have beautiful baths together, naps peacefully during the day (well, nearly all the time - but I am not being so caught up in making sure he sleeps the regimented "required" sleep time...and we both seem very happy with that!) and he sleeps soundly next to me in his cot at night. We (baby, hubbie & I) are all a lot happier, and just feel more calm and peaceful.
It's soooooo nice not feeling like I have to live up to this "ideal" - I have given myself permission to raise my child with love and warmth and lots of mummy intuition! I believe that my baby now feels more heard and listened to.
What a wonderful book - thank you so much Pinky, you are a true angel!