Trust Yourself. Trust Your Baby. You’re Learning Each Other.

So often, I meet new mums who are exhausted and confused, trying to make a strict routine “work” with their beautifully unique baby. When I gently ask why they’re trying so hard to stick to the schedule, the answer is usually the same: “I just want to understand my baby better.”

It’s completely understandable. Many popular books or apps promise that if you follow the clock, you’ll know exactly what your baby needs. If it’s feeding time, your baby must be hungry; if it’s nap time, they must be tired.

But what happens when your baby doesn’t fit neatly into that one-size-fits-all template? How do you know what they need then?

The truth is, your baby already has all the answers — and they’re right in front of you.

Your baby is the book (or app)

If you watch your baby instead of the clock, you’ll start to notice patterns. You’ll see how your baby communicates hunger, tiredness, and the need for connection or rest. Soon, you’ll be able to tune in naturally — no guesswork, no second-guessing, and no wondering, “Am I doing this right?”

Your baby’s cues — their body language, sounds, and expressions — are their way of talking to you. It might take a few weeks of baby-watching, but before long, you’ll be amazed at how even tiny babies send clear signals that they want to feed, play, or rest.

When you respond to these cues, day and night, your baby learns that their world is safe and that they can trust you — and themselves. This sense of trust lays the foundation for secure attachment, emotional regulation, and healthy relationships later in life.

As you soothe and respond, you’re teaching your baby an essential life skill: when I’m upset, I can calm down

Understanding your baby’s cues

Here are some of the most common signals your baby uses to communicate with you.

Baby Cue #1: “I’m hungry”

Long before crying, your baby will show hunger cues such as:

• Rooting or turning their head with an open mouth
• Making sucking noises
• Trying to suck on their fists
• Making little murmurs that build up to a cry

Crying is a late hunger cue, and waiting until this point (especially for young babies) can make feeding harder. When a baby cries intensely, their tongue often presses to the roof of the mouth — making it difficult to latch effectively. They may take only a small feed before falling asleep, which can affect milk supply and lead to shorter, more frequent feeds.

If you respond to those early feeding cues, your baby will feed calmly and efficiently, drain your breasts well, and help maintain your milk supply. A baby who feeds peacefully is also more likely to be settled and sleep longer with a full tummy.

Baby Cue #2: “play with me!”

Even newborns have short windows when they’re ready to engage. As your baby grows, these play periods get longer and their signals clearer.

When your baby wants to interact, you might notice:

• Bright, wide eyes and an alert expression
• Smooth arm and leg movements, open arms
• Turning towards your voice or face
• Cooing, babbling, or smiling

These “engagement cues” are your baby’s way of saying, “I’m ready for connection.” Responding to them builds your baby’s confidence and strengthens your bond.

Tip: This is a good time to introduce baby massage – download my FREE infant massage video HERE

 Baby Cue #3: “Give me a break”

Just as your baby tells you when they’re ready to play, they’ll also let you know when they’ve had enough.

Signs your baby needs a break include:

• Looking or turning away
• Squirming, arching their back, or kicking
• Coughing, spitting up, or fussing
• Raising a hand in a little “stop” gesture
• Yawning, frowning, or wrinkling their forehead

If you keep stimulating your baby when they’re showing these “disengagement cues,” they may become agitated and cry. A short pause, some quiet time, or a cuddle often helps them reset.

 Baby Cue #4: “I’m sleepy”

Just like adults, babies don’t enjoy being kept awake when they’re tired. Catching their early sleepy cues makes settling much easier.

Look for signs such as:

• Quieting down or losing interest in play
• Jerky movements (in younger babies) or becoming very still
• Yawning or frowning
• Clenching fists
• Rubbing eyes or ears
• Fussing

If you miss this window, your baby may become overtired — and much harder to settle.

Every baby is unique, and not all will use every cue. With time, you’ll learn your own baby’s language — how they tell you they’re tired, hungry, or just need a break.

Becoming attuned to each other

As you care for your baby, you’ll start to see a mix of engagement and disengagement signals. The key is to observe without rushing, respond with gentleness, and trust that your baby is learning just as much about you as you are about them.

With time and patience, you’ll find your rhythm together — one built not on the clock, but on connection.

Looking for gentle, respectful ways to help your baby (and you) sleep — without compromising breastfeeding or your beautiful bond?
📖 Check out my book Sleeping Like a Baby — also available on Audible if you don’t have time to read.
👉 You can download the first chapter FREE [here].